Every camper falls into one of these categories 

Published 12:27 pm Tuesday, March 22, 2022

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With winter behind us, many folks are looking to remedy “cabin fever” by a vacation without a cabin. Campgrounds are full with people in all stages of life looking to welcome the longer days in all sorts of camping structures. Every camper falls into one of these following groups. 


The Minimalist: This camper can fit all their gear in a small backpack. They will sleep in a hammock and pray that it does not rain. If a storm does approach, they can sleep safely knowing their hammock is attached to two lightning rods, I mean, trees. 

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The “Trial Run” family: The “Trial Run” family is easy to spot as they set up their tent. More than likely, it will still be in the plastic packaging. The husband will set up the tent while the wife reads the directions. Their conversation will be sprinkled with “I told you so’s, ” but the sense of accomplishment is evident through the campground when their tent is set up. The result of the trial run is easy to tell. The family will most likely not return if the new tent is in the dumpster the next morning. 


The Regulars: These people show up to a campsite and set up everything like clockwork. Tents are set up without an argument and everyone knows their role in a fun campsite. The only tense time at this campsite is packing up to leave. The father knows exactly how the truck needs to be packed, but doesn’t articulate to the family. This is usually fixed with a stern look from “the regulars” mom. 


Feral Children: Every campground seems to have a roaming band of feral children. You never know where they camp, but they tend to always be around. Some of these children make themselves at home at your campsite. This is fine when they are playing with your children, but crosses the line when they start rummaging through your food without asking. At that point, they are similar to a common campground marauder, the black bear. I make it a point to not feed the bears or Feral Children. 


Camping in Name Only: These folks are easily found by following the rumble of their generators to their campsite. No tents are at their campsite. The closest thing to a tent is an automatic screened-in porch that extends off the side of their RV. Who can blame them though? I wouldn’t want to swat mosquitoes while I watched the big game. The flat screen hooked up to the satellite dish can even play a serene forest scene to experience the great outdoors. 


These folks at the campground will be out in full force through Labor Day. Next time you go through a campground, try and pick out the different types of campers from the Minimalists to the Camping in Name Only group. Also, remember to not feed the feral children for the safety of the campground.