I’m Just Saying: A house divided

Published 8:00 am Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Dear Aunty Pam,

Big dilemma, Aunty Pam, big dilemma!

I hope you can help because my household is in chaos. It’s the politics. My husband supports Trump, but I can’t stand the man (Trump, but sometimes my husband).

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I have two college-aged sons, and they’re split as well: my eldest son wears his “Make America Great Again” hat all day long, and my youngest son barely talks to him anymore because it just descends into name calling.

And if all this isn’t bad enough, my in-laws are conservative, but don’t support the president, and my parents retired to Belize, and they don’t care about anything.

It’s gotten to the point in my house where no one eats together, watches TV together or even wants to spend any time together. I know this column tends to be funny letters, but I am at my wit’s end.

Just thinking about birthdays or Thanksgiving gives me a migraine. Please, please, help me!

Had it in Hendersonville

Dear Had it,

Are you kidding me? I’m not wading into this dysfunctional nightmare with a 10-foot pole.

I did, however, give James Carville a call because he’s a Democratic strategist and is successfully married to Republican strategist Mary Matalin since 1993, so I thought I might glean some advice.

But, after 10 minutes, I had to hang up because I couldn’t understand a word he said, just something about greased pigs and “Cho! Co!” Seriously, the guy’s nuts.

They do, however, have children, so clearly they can stand being in the same room together.

Had it, I’m thinking that instead of killing yourself with trying to bring your family together, maybe everyone needs some space from each other. Let your hubby watch “Fox and Friends,” while you go in another room and watch “Morning Joe.”

Tell your sons to get summer jobs, and schedule that kitchen remodeling you’ve been putting off for some time around November, so you have a handy excuse not to have the in-laws over for Thanksgiving.

Then give hubby a peck on the cheek and tell him you’re off to visit your folks in Belize.

Sit on the beach with one of those silly drinks with an umbrella in it, exhale, and chat to your friends on Facebook, because no one ever gets political there.

Cheers, dear!

Dear Aunty Pam,

If a man talks in the woods and his wife can’t hear him, is he still wrong?

Musing in Mauldin

Dear Musing,

Don’t be ridiculous. Of course he is.