In the doghouse

Published 11:18 am Tuesday, May 28, 2024

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Hey Aunty Pam,


Seems like you get a whole lot of letters from wives complaining about their husbands so I thought I’d even the score and complain about my wife.

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Me and Janine have been married 30 years and have our ups and downs like every other couple. Our biggest problem lately is her Chihuahua. He’s about 17, and that dog is her baby. She dresses him up, carries him around like a baby and he sleeps with us. I think I’ve been a good sport about that because I was always raised  to never let a dog on the bed, let them sleep on the floor.

The dog now is having issues and he’s wet the bed twice. What’s worse is that I rolled over and landed in it. I got pretty upset and laid down the law to my wife that Sparky has to start sleeping in a bed on the floor. Janine said that’s cruel because he’s getting senile and would start wandering around at night and get lost if she didn’t keep him next to her. I told her it’s either me or Sparky and now I’m sleeping in the guest room.

I can’t believe after 30 years of marriage that dog means more to her than I do.

Was I out of line refusing to sleep in dog pee?



Grouchy Ed


Dear Ed,


I think, in the course of one’s life, it’s not unreasonable to request not sleeping in a puddle of dog urine in one’s own bed. And yet, at the same time, I feel for Janine because my critters are my ‘babies’ as well. While I don’t dress them up, I do go to the mat for them, even when I know their time is near. And the good news for you is (although do make an effort not to show it), Sparky’s time is near. If he has bladder control issues and dementia, his quality of life isn’t what it was, and I can only assume he’s under a vet’s supervision as his days dwindle.

By the way, Ed, never, ever ask a woman to choose between her pet and her husband. You’ll lose every time. It’s less about being second best to Janine, it’s more about what this dog represents to her: the need for unconditional affection from the dog, and her need, in return, to nurture and comfort Sparky till the very end.

Perhaps there’s a compromise— maybe Janine keeps Sparky on her side of the bed on top of a pee pad, which leaves you protected?


Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam