Stressing over bridesmaids at our upcoming wedding

Published 12:00 pm Monday, May 6, 2024

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Dear Aunty Pam,


The love of my life just asked me to marry him, and I said yes. We had about a week of quiet celebration until we announced our engagement. Now I’m stressing!

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The problem is ‘Mark’s family. His two sisters immediately assumed they’d be bridesmaids, but I was hoping for a small wedding and was going to ask just my sister and my best friend. Mark said it would really hurt his sisters’ feelings to be left out, so I said OK, but now I instantly regret it because both of them are covered in tattoos down both arms and their backs.

Mark is the first member of his family to go to college and travel. We have a lot in common, and he gets my background and also would like an elegant, understated wedding. No tiara or bling. All I can think of is his sisters coming down the aisle with those tattoos and 20 earrings in each ear, not to mention how the wedding photos will look!

Please help! I don’t want to snub my new family to be, but I also want to have the wedding I want.



Frightened Fiancé


Dear Fiancé,


So, as Aunty Pam understands it, you’re saying that you’d rather not look as though you’re marrying into a family of carnival barkers. Not that there’s anything wrong with carnival barkers—it’s like being on parole means nothing to some people!

I think you can include Thelma and Louise AND have the wedding of your dreams. Simply choose long-sleeved bridesmaid gowns. If the wedding is in the summer, you can go with chiffon sleeves, although the tats might still show; if you choose to be married in the winter, well, the most elegant wedding I ever saw was held in winter, and both bride and bridesmaids wore velvet! The bride received guests next to an enormous Christmas tree in the most beautiful creamy velvet gown, and the bridesmaids wore a sort of golden champagne color. All very Downton Abbey! 

You can do this, Fiancé, or another version—just think creatively!


Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam