Worried sick ahead of wedding night

Published 12:21 pm Tuesday, April 30, 2024

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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I am a 48-year-old woman about to walk down the aisle for the first time with the man of my dreams. Steve is kind, thoughtful, and hardworking. It’s a first marriage for both of us, and we met online. We also agreed not to share a bed until our wedding night.

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My problem is Steve’s friends are throwing him a stag party and Steve’s sister told me they are taking him to a strip club. Since she told me, my stomach’s been tied up in knots. I’m sort of a big girl, a size 16, and I just know that when Steve sees those sexy girls with their perfect bodies, he’s going to be disappointed in mine on our wedding night.

Do you think I should ask Steve not to go to the strip club or have a stag party? I don’t want to be unreasonable; I’m just worried sick.

 

Fat Fiancé

SC

 

Dear Fiancé,

 

Now, honey, lean in closely as Aunty Pam has something to whisper in your ear:

Steve has seen boobs before. And naked women. Unless he’s Amish. And if he IS Amish, he’s probably working behind a huge draft horse all day and anybody’s butt will look small in comparison.

Steve loves YOU. He wants to marry YOU. And he clearly looks at you and your size 16 frame daily. He might not even want to go to this stag party, but I wouldn’t tell him not too. He’s a big boy and it’s a few hours out of his life.

Try to let this go, Fiancé…and remember this: Marilyn Monroe was a size 16 and not at all toned, with quite a belly and bum. Yet she remains an iconic sex symbol! Steve loves you just as you are. Celebrate!

 

 Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam