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Sharks, like a handful of other dangers, such as skydiving or snake church (if indeed you have a hand left), are one of those things that few survive when things go wrong. For example, you’ll never see your neighbor hobbling on crutches to the mailbox, and after asking about his dilemma be told, ‘Chute didn’t open, can you believe it? Slammed right into the power lines and busted my ankle—really annoying!’ 

And most know that snakes are quiet creatures that dislike noise and vibrations, so if you’re stomping over an old pine floor as you bellow into a tinny microphone waving a rattler aloft, well….

But sharks, for we Carolinians, have been something that are part of our coastal communities. Unlike skydiving and snake handling—two things easily avoidable—we love our beaches. From Charleston to Nag’s Head, it’s part of our culture. We know these killers can be lurking beneath the waves and we can therefore choose not to take the risk of swimming or, the shark’s favorite, paddle boarding. We can instead enjoy the hotel pool, or walk safely along the sand and admire the ocean, as well as venturing into the safety of tidal ponds.

Excuse me: I have a call on line two. Yes? Oh, really? Gosh, that’s scary, I’ll make sure everyone knows.

Scratch that whole pond thing. Turns out we now have sharks in ponds.

The Beach Patrol of Kiawah Island has reported sightings of sharks cruising the local tidal ponds of this exclusive barrier island. There has been no released statement of varieties: Great White, Tiger, Bull or Lemon sharks could be on the prowl. But they are said to be ‘relatively small’ at ‘four feet in length’ which is, for example, twice as long as my Plott hound, and that sure as heck isn’t something I’d want to see coming at my knees in a pond, baring her teeth. Beachgoers are urged to use caution, particularly around Beach Walker County Park. 

The hope is that when high tide comes in, that’ll provide an entrance ramp back into the Atlantic, however, no one knows for sure. In the meantime, the Beach Patrol is said to be ‘closely monitoring the situation.’ Actually, I’m told all of this is no real surprise: it’s been known that everywhere along the Carolina coast has long been used as busy mating grounds.

For sharks too.