Foot in mouth at high school reunion

Published 12:05 pm Monday, February 19, 2024

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Dear Aunty Pam,

Boy, did I step in it. I’m a 47-yr-old man and I recently attended my 30th high school reunion. I missed the 20th and I was really looking forward to seeing my friend Dave. We played football together and Dave went on to college on a scholarship and I went into business with my dad.

Dave married a girl named Cindy who was a real looker. I hooked up with them on Facebook and I could see that Dave had put on some weight, but Cindy still looked great. Lucky guy.

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Well, I got to the venue for the reunion, got in line for the buffet and got stuck behind this huge woman who was moving really slow. I see Dave wave at me from across the room, and after a few minutes I gave up getting anything to eat because the woman is now talking to everyone else in line and taking forever. I left the line and went to say hi. When I got there, I gave Dave a hug and apologized for waiting so long to come over, but I got stuck behind that wide load in the buffet line. Dave looked at me weird and then I turned around and saw the wide load coming right at us. 

Dave said, “You remember Cindy, right?” 

I was trying to do damage control and my head was spinning. I said hi to her and asked how they were. Cindy asked if I’d like to sit with them as I was on my own, then Dave said, “No, he’s sitting with somebody else,” then took her by the arm and left me standing in the middle of the room.

I’ve been thinking about this and wondering if all of this is really my fault. Dave’s the one who used an old photo for his profile photo on Facebook, which was pretty misleading. I mean, how was I supposed to know Cindy had blown up like a balloon?

What I regret the most is I guess I’ve blown my friendship with Dave. Any idea what I should say to him to try to turn this around?




Dear Pete,

And Aunty Pam thought Travis Kelce had behaved boorishly of late…

You appear to have a pretty snarky streak in you, Pete. You describe Cindy to me as a one time ‘real looker,’ then a ‘wide load,’ repeat this sophomoric name to Dave, then describe her again ‘a balloon.’ It’s so base and smacks of someone who is deeply insecure and feels better about himself while denigrating others—especially women.

Yeah, for sure I could come up with a couple of Mea Culpas to help you regain your friendship with Dave, but you know, I’m going to do both Dave and Cindy a favor and pump the brakes. Until you start doing some meaningful work on yourself (blaming THEM because Dave posted an older photo on FB, are you kidding me?), they deserve a far better friend.


Cheers dears!!

Aunty Pam