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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

My husband put his dog down about 6 months ago and every night that he comes home from work the first thing he does is take a beer out of the fridge and walk down to ‘Blue’s’ grave to have a beer and talk to him. I get that he misses Blue a lot, but this feels pretty excessive to me and I told him so. He said he misses Blue every day and why should it bother me that he does it? Then I asked him if he’d walk to my grave every day after I die and he said he didn’t know. That really has me steamed. What do you think?

 

Signed,

Ed’s wife

 

Dear Wife,

 

Well, unless you’re planning to be buried in a big Chewy box in the backyard, how could you expect Ed to visit you every day?

It seems to Aunty Pam that there’s an undercurrent of jealousy from you going towards Blue going on here. That perhaps Ed loved Blue more than he loves you? And if that’s the case I’ve got news for you: because our pets give us unconditional love, why, yes, it’s common for people to feel more affection for their pets than their human partners.

I see no problem whatsoever with Ed visiting Blue as soon as he comes home from work. He’s grieving. This gives him time to decompress and find his peace before coming into the house. As a caring spouse, that shouldn’t bother you a bit. In fact, the next time Ed comes home from work, why don’t you crack a beer and walk to Blue’s grave together? Ed might rather be alone, but I’m pretty sure he’d appreciate the gesture.

 

Cheers, dears!

Aunty Pam