Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Dear Aunty Pam,

 

My husband, ‘Carl,’ is crazy about NASCAR, and to put it mildly, I’m not. I have tried going to a few races and have hated every minute of it. He knows it and goes with his friends instead. One of his friends is a woman he’s known for 20 years. 

 

I think our relationship is pretty healthy because there are things that I do with my friends that he would never do, for example, pickleball. So he’s fine with me going off with them and I’m fine with him going to his races with his friends.

 

Carl told me the other night he’s got tickets to Darlington and his other friends can’t go but the woman, ‘Annette’ can go, so he wanted to know if I was OK with that. I said I was and they’re going to drive down together.

 

When my friends heard about this they could not believe that I was giving Carl ‘permission’ (in their eyes) to fool around with Annette and they also said I was being naive. That Carl and Annette are probably having a fling right under my nose. I admit I had a passing thought about this but because they’ve known each other for so long and Annette is now a grandmother and has been married over 30 years, I let it go. Now I’m wondering if I’ve really been that blind like my friends say and need glasses.

 

Your thoughts, please?

 

‘The Wife’

 

Dear Wife,

 

Aunty Pam doesn’t feel you need glasses, but rather, perhaps new friends. 

 

At the end of the day, woman, you trust your husband and it wasn’t until this coven of harpies you hang out with decided to throw a monkey wrench into the state of your marriage that you had any doubt. And really, look at it this way: If your hubs wanted to fool around with Annette, for goodness sake, he would have done it long ago while going to the races with all his friends. Might there be more temptation with just the two of them going off overnight to Darlington? Sure. Is it also possible that the mere thought of a fling is enough to make them both belly laugh? Yep. 

 

Your husband gets bonus points in my eyes for extending the common courtesy and respect by asking your permission to go to the race. You’ve said yes. Because you trust him.

 

And at the end of the day, it’s all about trust, right? Because you’ve got to have trust. Otherwise, you can’t cheat. 

 

Thank you, good night! You’ve been a great audience! Don’t forget to tip your waitress!

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam