‘I love you, jowls and all’

Published 10:54 am Monday, January 30, 2023

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Dear Aunty Pam,


I’m hoping you can help with a disagreement (OK, a big fight) I am having with my fiancé.

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We are getting married in one month and now he wants to postpone it because he’s getting a little ‘nip tuck’ to get rid of loose skin beneath his jawline. He says he doesn’t want to have our wedding photographs showing him with a double chin and jowls.


I told him this is way too last minute to schedule this surgery and he should have done it sooner! I also told him I fell in love with him, jowls and all (we’re both middle-aged) and it shouldn’t matter!! Besides, the wedding photographs are for us, and nobody else, but he doesn’t see it that way. He doesn’t even care that we’d lose our deposits. We’re marrying at the home of a friend, but we have very nice restaurant reservations for the reception. On top of all this, my parents are still alive and I feel this is a lot to ask them, and our other guests, to reschedule for another date!


I’m completely panicked! Can you help??


Desperate Bride,


Dear Bride,


Aunty Pam feels your stress leaping off the page. And just so you know, I request a two-exclamation point maximum, so easy there, gal. Sit down, pour yourself a spritzer (do people still drink spritzers?), and let’s look at the situation…


The fact of the matter, of course, is that you’re absolutely correct. For your fiancé to throw a stick into the spokes of your wedding when it’s one month away is madness. It smacks of selfishness in that he is expecting everyone else to rearrange their life until he feels better about his appearance.


One word: PHOTOSHOP. For heaven’s sake, has he never heard of the Kardashians? They use every filter and photoshop known to man to thin their noses, enhance their cleavage (both boob and butt) and thin away thickened waists. 


Your photographer can easily do the same for your husband if this is that big a deal for him. Also, suggest this: after the wedding, when your hubs is healed up, haired over and sporting a Paul Newman profile, have a private photo session with the photographer in his tux and your dress, or whatever you’re both wearing for the wedding. No one need know and this way, everyone’s happy. All good? Good!


Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam