Turkey searching for a special someone

Published 8:00 am Thursday, January 5, 2023

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I`m looking for a love
I`m looking here and there
I`m searching everywhere
I`m looking for a love
To call my own…

-Bobby Womack


Bobby Womack sings this song the best, at least, when you picture us lonesome hearts out there, looking here and there, looking everywhere. Not me though. I know a big handsome fellow named Drumstick who’s on the hunt for love. Dear Reader, go ahead and get that Bobby Womack tune going as we work on matchmaking for the love-lorn. 


Drumstick’s a mighty fine bronze and white tom turkey raised as a pet from the day he hatched. I coined him “Drumstick” at my friend Nance’s daylily and goat farm. It just popped out of my mouth as we were piping up potential names for the tiny fuzzball, and Drumstick it was. 


Now, he’s grown into a chest-thumping rowdy young male with overflowing hormones, with his eye on Nance’s goats, chickens, and about anything that comes in his territory—which is wreaking havoc on the uninterested parties. No one wants to be in his harem, or even wants to be a potential date. 


So, Nance is looking for a home for her big handsome love muffin, with the understanding that he is a pet, not dinner. Drumstick is a 40-pound gobbler these days, desperate and dateless, needing a few turkey hens to call his own on a farm or barnyard that will appreciate his handsome self. Nance’s goats and chickens will thank you. 


After a few good laughs at poor Drumstick’s expense, I figured it was time to get some hot chicks lined up that don’t mind a guy who’s a total turkey. If you know a few single hens that would like a fine-feathered gentleman caller at their beck and call–no players need apply–let Nance know at (828) 447-8684. Or, you can contact me, I’m happy to play matchmaker. 


Saluda Winter Market is held at the Saluda Center, located at 64 Greenville Street, on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month from 9 a.m.-12 p.m. through April.


Saluda Community Table will take place on January 11 at Saluda Fire Department, at 6 p.m. Dinner pies such as pot pie, shepherd’s pie, etc. will be on the menu. Bring your own tableware.  


Saluda Pop-Up Pantry is open each Tuesday from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. at Saluda Presbyterian Church, located at 54 Carolina Avenue (behind Saluda Library). To volunteer at the Pantry, call Saluda Church of the Transfiguration, at 828-749-9740. 


The Historic Saluda Depot and Museum is closed for January and February. 


Thank you to Heartwood Gallery! Their annual holiday ornament fundraiser brought in $5,600 for Outreach.  


Happy January Birthday to Brandy Bradley, Carolyn Ashburn, Scott Kinard, Donna Bond, Greer Eargle, Wyatt Alan Pace, Irma Anderson, Paul Aaybe, Phyllis Arrington, Kenneth Justus, Cheryl Harbin, Avery Lena Mintz, Connie Scicluna, Ann Dudley, Charles Conner, Kristin Mode, Susan Parke, Rodney Gibson, and Frank McNutt. Add your birthday to the list—it’s a promise that no ages will be mentioned unless you’re under 2 or over 100!  


Feel free to contact me at bbardos@gmail.com, (828) 817-6765, P.O. Box 331, Saluda, NC 28773, Facebook, or visit bonniebardos.com


Drumstick, the lonesome turkey (Photo by Nance Wolfe)