Ask Aunty Pam: Christmas card conundrum

Published 11:05 am Monday, December 12, 2022

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Dear Aunty Pam,


I am sitting down with a pile of Christmas cards and a list of everybody I’m sending them to. I like sending cards but I’ve noticed that one of my sisters (we’re not very close) hasn’t sent me a card in the last couple of years and now I’m thinking if she can’t be bothered to send me a card, then why should I?

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So I’m leaving it up to you. Am I being too stingy?





Dear CM,


Are you being too stingy? Welp, I guess if you can easily afford a stamp but choose not to use it, that would make you stingy. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here. The case appears that your motivation for sending a card that represents the season of love all hinges on what you might, or might not, get back.


Ever read, or listened to Dr. Jim Finley? Easy to find on youtube. He’s a retired clinical psychologist who specialized in adult victims of childhood trauma. He was also a monk for 6 years in his youth and is considered and globally respected as a devout spiritual leader. One particular video is fantastic: ‘The Peace that Surpasses all Understanding’ in which he gives a lecture about what constitutes ‘the spiritually mature’ person.


Why do I blather on about all of the above? Just so you don’t think I’m taking credit for the wonderful gems that fall from his lips that I find so inspirational. And one of them is that the spiritually mature person continues to give, and love, regardless of the results of that giving and/or loving. That the gift of love (your Christmas card) shouldn’t rely on if you get a gift of love back from your sister (her sending you a card).


In the end, if we only practice giving to those we’re pretty sure will give back to us, then someone needs to watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas,’ STAT!


Cheers, dears!

Aunty Pam