Ask Aunty Pam: Turkey terror?

Published 1:00 pm Tuesday, November 29, 2022

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Aunty Pam, I need your help pronto! I’m hosting a holiday dinner for my family this week at my house and am in the middle of a big disagreement with my brother-in-law. 


Chip insists on ‘deep frying’ the turkey and not only do I not like deep-fried turkey, but Chip wants to bring his deep fryer over to my house and fry it in my garage. I said no because Chip set his own house on fire two years ago doing just that. He and my sister lost their garage and his truck, and nearly burned down the whole house.

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My sister said he’s learned his lesson but I’m putting my foot down. Now Chip is saying he won’t eat any turkey unless he can deep fry it. I think he’s acting like a 5-year-old and even worse, now my sister is taking his side. Nobody seems to care that I hate deep-fried turkey, I’m hosting this dinner and I’ve already paid a LOT of money for all the food and drink. Nobody has offered to pitch in a few bucks and everyone knows how expensive food is right now. At this point I’m so angry I feel like telling everybody to go to hell. 


What should I do to keep the peace and keep my house from going up in flames?



Turkey Terror


Dear Turkey,


Get a ham.


Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam