Splitting the bill

Published 10:35 am Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Dear Aunty Pam,


I’m writing to you to settle an argument I’m having with some friends so I’ll keep it short and sweet.

Sign up for our daily email newsletter

Get the latest news sent to your inbox


I met a woman on a dating website and after emailing back and forth and talking on the phone for a week, I asked her out to dinner to get to know each other better. She is nice and relatively attractive but I felt no spark for her at all and knew I wouldn’t be seeing her again. I even told her so, but in a nice way that wasn’t mean in any way. 


When the bill came, I paid my share and she looked pretty surprised, but then paid her share and we left.


My friends that knew about the date said they couldn’t believe how cheap I was to do that. I say as it didn’t turn out to be an actual ‘date,’ I was under no obligation to pay. What do you say?



MB in Myrtle Beach


Dear MB,


Short and sweet: you’re cheap. And you also behaved like a Class A, Extra Special, Sugar-Frosted Jerk.


From what you wrote, you asked this woman out for a date, and etiquette dictates when someone invites someone else out, it is assumed the person who does the asking is prepared to treat the other person. It’s one thing if you’re standing around with a group of friends and you say, “Hey, let’s all go get a pizza.” It’s quite another thing to speak with someone for a week and then invite them out for dinner. Of course she would, or anyone would, expect you to pick up the check.


I’m sorry this young woman didn’t work out for you.


I’m even more sorry she had to endure such a rotten evening. 


Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam