Ask Aunty Pam

Published 1:43 pm Tuesday, September 8, 2020

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Dear Aunty Pam,

My 20 year old daughter is wanting to get a tattoo of a tiger paw on the back of her right shoulder as she is a senior at Clemson and a devout fan of their football team.
I am just crushed by this. ‘Amy’ is a beautiful girl with beautiful skin and I keep telling her to think about the future and how it might impact her job prospects or even her wedding day. Does she really want to come down the aisle in a strapless or off the shoulder wedding gown with a giant, orange paw on her back?
Naturally, because I’m her mom, I get a lot of eye rolling and ‘Oh, mom’ about this and she reminds me she’s an adult and can do what she pleases.
I’m hoping maybe she’ll listen to you, Aunty Pam. Please help!!
Desperate Mom

Dear Mom,
Are you sure you really want Amy to listen to me? After all, I might tell her to have FOUR paws tattooed on her back and a big orange tail curling around her neck. I mean, she wears clothes, right? So, I’m not sure that a tattoo on her shoulder would actually impact her job prospects unless she’s looking for a gig at Hooters, or something.
I mean, exactly how big is this ‘big orange paw?’ The size of a dinner plate or something very small and cute? And I gotta say, if she’s going to get a tattoo, her shoulder is a pretty safe place to have it as shoulders aren’t really affected by gravity. There’s been many a butterfly on a boob then turns into a Pterodactyl after a few decades. Sure, it’ll show if she chooses to wed and chooses to show a lot of skin. She can always cover with make up or a surgical bandage on the day if it bothers her.
I personally don’t sport any tattoos, but it’s nothing I pass judgement upon. There are bigger things to worry about in life, Mom. Your daughters almost graduated from university. If she’s sailed through without binge drinking or becoming ‘in the family way,’ holy moly, you’ve got much to celebrate nowadays. Let her have the tattoo. In fact, go with her and get one too. What the hell? Dabo rocks.
Cheers, dear!

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Aunty Pam