I’m Just Saying: Taking a shot at marriage

Published 8:00 am Friday, November 16, 2018

Now I know what Tannerite is.

But to be honest, for years, I didn’t.

Residents in my neighborhood enjoy target shooting, particularly around deer season, and even the horses have become accustomed to what often sounds like rapid, semi-automatic discharges (should you want to blow the deer into “fun size” bites) to the point where they barely flinch.

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That’s particularly helpful should one actually be on a horse.

Then, suddenly, came enormous booms that rattled windows, not to mention nerves.

“What the hell was that?” I asked at the feed store after Paul assured me it was a cannon. “It sounded like a bazooka!”

“Tannerite,” replied the cashier, chewing gum. “They use it when they shoot stuff.”

Only she didn’t say “stuff.”

“To blow stuff up?” I asked, but I didn’t say “stuff.”

“Well, you can, but mostly it’s for target practice. If you hit your target, it blows up and you’ll know you hit your target if you’re far away, so you don’t have to walk all the way up to it and see.”


Now it made sense, I thought, after I read about the woman in Texas who wanted to celebrate her divorce being finalized by blowing up her wedding dress.

With Tannerite.

Kimberly Santleben-Stiteler, 43, gathered with friends and family at her daddy’s farm for a “divorce party” to mark the end of her 14-year marriage.

The dress became the ultimate sacrifice as Kimberly declared that it “represented a lie.” She’d already burned the wedding photos and decided to sell the ring.

But, with the aid of a scope mounted on her rifle, she pulled the trigger to create the explosion that could be heard 15 miles away and reduced her dress to confetti.

I can’t lie — I’m dying to know his side of the story. Because either he’s a monster or she’s overly sensitive.

Until then, good luck to Kimberly and her original approach to closure. And fellow Texans, remember her name should you run across her on a dating site. She’s a crack shot and loves blowing “stuff” up.

Pretty much a dream girl.