I’m Just Saying: We could all use a good laugh

Published 3:06 pm Thursday, November 2, 2017

As my stand up performance in Tryon looms over the horizon in three weeks, friends of mine have been asking what I’ll be joking about.

“All the animals on your farm?”

Nah, that’s like being subjected to a doting grandmother with endless photos of a cherished but rather ordinary grandchild.

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For goodness sakes, the man suffers enough from my column.


Now, seriously, I can’t think of a single, laughable account regarding politics in the past year, can you?

Actually, I love it when people ask me who I, as a comic, think is funny. I expect they think I will gush over Joan Rivers, Jay Leno, James Corden…and sure, of course they are all admirable. But the funniest people I’ve ever met are the inhabitants of my small southern town of 2,000 residents.

Generally I buy my tires at Dill’s because there’s always two or three guys sitting around and discussing current events that I highly enjoy eavesdropping upon. And I am constantly at the local feed store because Connie makes me laugh more than any comic I’ve ever met. She doesn’t even try to be funny, she just is. And it annoys her that I find her that funny, which just makes me laugh harder.

The stories that just plain folks tell, while probably too long for a seven minute segment on The Tonight Show, are sterling material for any comedian. My favorite revolves around a woman and her husband who were driving to Myrtle Beach during a holiday, and taking the woman’s elderly mother along who was riding in the back seat.

Wanting to make good time they decided to have lunch at a Burger King, and instead of going inside to eat they chose instead to simply remain in the car. The mother, after devouring half her fish sandwich then promptly spilled her large sweet tea all over her lap.

“I’m gonna have to go in and clean up and change,” she said, and after unpacking a clean pair of underwear and pants, she found her way to the Burger King restroom where she removed her sticky, soaked clothes, sponged off her thighs with wet paper towels, and changed into a dry outfit.

When she returned, she slid into the back seat and loudly proclaimed, “You know what? That hand dryer in the woman’s bathroom was just the right height to dry my hiney.” And then looked up at the horrified expression in the reflection of the rear-view mirror, which showed not her daughter and son-in-law but rather, some other couple that she had happened upon by climbing into the back seat of the wrong car.

“I didn’t pee my pants,” she added, trying to make amends. “Just so you know.”

Now, that’s funny, I don’t care who you are. So I’ll leave the politics to the late night comics. As this particular concert I’m doing benefits Mobile Meals, my main objective is not to alienate anyone and to use material everyone will enjoy.

Because Heaven knows, I’m pretty sure we could all use some laughs!

Editor’s Note: Pam Stone will be appearing at The Tryon Fine Arts Center on Nov. 19. For ticket information, please call 828-859-8322.