The Big Bang Theory, Bah Humbug

Published 3:11 pm Monday, July 17, 2017

I’m 89 and have been privileged to have known a good number of very bright people. They have all been, with the exception of the snobs, been excellent company. They could tell you wondrous things that make life exciting on our planet.

There is one theory that they are all in agreement with – The universe, as we know it, started with the big bang. There it is.

I just cannot believe that. I have always wanted to contest that theory. I think I found a way to explain my thinking. With a simple demonstration that we can all perform together. All you need is at least one hand. The right one or the left, it works with either.

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Think of it – that enormous lump of matter, or energy hanging around out there in space. No one even knows where it came from. Everything you can see in the night sky and multiply it ten thousand, a million times (?) At one time everything out there was all a part of itself. Of a sudden it exploded. Why, who knows. And all that debris, including us, is the result of that incredible moment in time.

If that enormous expanding fury of self-destruction involved only in its own tormented grandeur did things according to the laws of nature, as we know them, exploded pieces of that grandeur would, after all these centuries be so far apart and on their way to (?) that blackness out there would be just that – blackness.

Now by the use of my demonstration I’ll show you why I think their theory is just something that teachers, scholars, scientists, and people of letters not knowing anymore about it than me, who knows almost nothing about such things.

The kids were always asking where did all that stuff come from? They, (the professors, not the students), the professors who like me hadn’t the faintest idea (the kids had wild and amusing theories of their own). The educators put their thoughts into text books hoping to cut down the number of students crowding the sidewalks with their worn out placards. If it was in print right there on pages in books it must be so. Look at those names associated with it. When things quieted down and the name calling ceased to get any attention it was decided to leave it in the textbook to cut down that cost of reprinting.

Now with the use of my plan we will disprove their reason for what happened and give some thought to my reason for what did not. Holding, with the hand of your choice, make a fist. Hold it steady. Quickly open that hand. There it is. You’ve just put an end to the ‘Big Bang Theory’ of the Universe’s beginnings. You have shot that theory to … space.

Again look at your fingers. They are all at angles away from what would be the center of the explosion and each of your fingertips, if permitted would be on its way to eternity. That is the nature of explosions, they tend to do that. I heard that somewhere in a physics class I think. To wrap up the demonstration close your fist. Again briskly open your hand and keep your fingers together and move your hand away from your body. They say that the distances between planets have remained at that distance for millions of years. That is the theory that science wants us to put our money on. Nah.

There are those who say that the universe is still in movement. If everything is fixed in its position how did they figure that one out. What wall of reference did those scholars use to see the planets passing by where they could get a few quick measurements? If everything is fixed and in movement where are we headed and why?

In closing, if the big guns, male and female, believe what they have written and say Einstein believed it I’m afraid to think they must all be wrong, right? But heh, everybody makes mistakes. I’ve made a good number myself. I only hope putting this down on paper isn’t making another one.

In truth, I haven’t the education nor the knowledge to even hint that superior minds like Einstein and his associates could be wrong about anything. But for me until I’m given some evidence that I’m wrong. The defendant must go free.

I only pray there isn’t another pile of trash out there headed our way.

Charles Harpt, Tryon, N.C.