Varmints, I’m watching you!

Published 9:47 pm Thursday, June 29, 2017


“You know something has changed in the night, something you thought gone from the world has come back: shooting stars in the pasture, sleeping beneath a field of daisies, wisteria climbing over fences, houses, trees.

This is a place that smells like childhood and old age. It is a limb you swung from, a field you go back to. It is a part of whatever you do.”

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Scott Owens ~ excerpt from “The Arrival of the Past”


Not long ago, a voicemail appeared on my phone from someone wanting to book a haircut appointment for Jess and Lucy (names changed to protect the innocent). You can read a voicemail as text on that new-fangled phone, or listen. Well, after reading the text, I figured someone had indeed gotten a wrong number, and was trying to book their dogs at a groomer for a summer shave. Why I thought of dogs and groomer rather than kids and hair stylist, who knows.


Yes, dear reader, I texted that poor woman back so she’d know why her groomer wasn’t responding. Afterward, it dawned on my simple mind that she was trying to make an appointment for kids, NOT dogs. Wherever she is, I hope she’ll forgive the stranger who sent her the text about wrong number for the groomer—in no way did I mean it as an insult! Oops. Fido and Fluffy are laughing somewhere, and, I have to admit, sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.


On another note, speaking of numbers: to the small two-door white car that pulled up to my mailbox at midnight Sunday, I have your number and it’s on the blacklist. These varmints had no clue I was standing outside with River watching stars and fireflies before heading to bed. They cruised by, stopped at the mailbox and helped themselves to the envelope I’d just stuck in a bit earlier. Luckily, it wasn’t a love letter, cash in a birthday card, or bill payment—it was a Netflix movie. How I wish it was a load of slimy slugs in there for them to steal—can you imagine grabbing that out of a dark mailbox? I left a message with the police to be on the lookout for the lowlifes, notified the post office, and a Facebook community alert. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even use your own mailbox? So, folks, be on the lookout for mailbox thieves in your ‘hood.


Saluda Welcome Table is at Saluda Methodist Church Tuesday from 5:30-6:45 p.m.


Saluda Community Land Trust (SCLT) has “Walks in the Woods” on the first and third Sundays each month. On July 2 the walk will be to Saluda Nature Park. Meet at the library parking lot at 2 p.m. Visit to learn more, donate, or volunteer.


Saluda Tail Gate Market is open 4:30-6:30 p.m. every Friday May through October.


Saluda Historic Depot is located at 32 West Main Street and is open Thursday through Sunday from noon to 4 p.m.


Top of the Grade Concerts schedule at McCreery Park: July 14 – Mercury Rising, August 11 – Casual Zealots, September 1 – Super 60’s. Music is from 7-9 p.m.


Saluda’s 54th annual Coon Dog Day is July 8 with live music, parade, food, crafts, and evening street dances. Parade starts at 11 a.m; 5K race starts at 8 a.m.


Happy June Birthday to Nancy Barnett, Verne Dawson, Peggy Ellwood, Anna Jackson, Charlie Jackson, Amy Violet Ford, Terry Arrington, Julie Arrington, Susie Welsh Hearn, Jeremy Edwards, John Savage, Eleanor Morgan, Mary Lu Price, Sigi Hendrickson, Edna McKee, and Lucinda Pittman.


Garden Tip: composting is one of the easiest forms of recycling there is! Anyone can do it. Kids love to watch happy earthworms that appreciate it. Even if you don’t collect organic scraps and peelings, you can give used coffee grounds/tea or banana peels directly to plants. Stick in the soil around plant base, cover and you’re done. Viola!


Thank you, dear readers, for reading this column. You can contact me at, 828-749-1153, or