‘Three Nights Drunk’ was easily remembered, sung

Published 10:00 pm Tuesday, July 12, 2016

A favorite, nonsensical and somewhat bawdy ballad sung often in the Dark Corner was called “Three Nights Drunk.” Strangely enough, it was brought to America by Scots, Irish, English and German immigrants, each with slightly different versions.

The structure of the ballad makes it easy to sing and easy to remember the lyrics. Each verse covers a night, followed by a chorus, and tells of a man who comes home in a drunken state to find evidence of another man having been with his wife.

She explains each night that each new evidence is a gift from the husband’s granny, and is convincing only because the husband is so drunk his reasoning is impaired. He notices a flaw in each explanation, but seems to be content to let the matter rest.

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There are some versions, which contain five verses, and The Dubliners from Ireland recorded a “Seven Nights Drunk” version in 1967. It reached number one in Ireland and number seven in the UK charts and appeared on Top of the Pops, but was banned from the national broadcasting system because the latter verses were deemed too bawdy.

The three night version became an integral part of the American folk culture, not only through Scots-Irish and borderline England descendants, but it also became a staple through the blues tradition.

Here is the most often sung version in the Dark Corner.

Three Nights Drunk

The first night that I come home so drunk that I could not see,  I found a horse in my stable where my horse ought to be.

“Come here, my little wifey, explain this thing to me; How come there’s a horse in the stable where my horse ought to be?”

“You blind fool, you crazy fool, can’t you never see?  It’s nothing but a milk cow your granny sent to me.”

I’ve traveled this world over, ten thousand miles or more, But a saddle on a milk cow’s back I never did see before.

The second night that I come home so drunk that I could not see, I found a coat a-hanging on the rack where my coat ought to be.

“Come here, my little wifey, explain this thing to me; How come a coat’s a-hanging on the rack where my coat ought to be?”

“You blind fool, you crazy fool, can’t you never see? It’s nothing but a bed quilt your granny sent to me.”

I’ve traveled this world over, ten thousand miles or more, But pockets on a bed quilt I never did see before.

The third night that I come home so drunk that I could not see, I found a head a-laying on the pillow where my head ought to be.

“Come here, my little wifey, explain this thing to me; How come a head’s a-laying on the pillow where my head ought to be?”

“You blind fool, you crazy fool, can’t you never see? It’s only a head of cabbage your granny sent to me.”

I’ve traveled this world over, ten thousand miles or more, But a mustache on a cabbage head, I never did see before