What? No more lasagna

Published 11:37 am Friday, April 29, 2011

Batman (photo submitted)

I decided I need a break from tales that fill me with anger and heartache and Batman is the perfect choice.

Believe me, there are other tales to tell, such as Asaki, a beautiful Akita who has a belly full of buckshot. Then there’s Bitsy, a sweet 8½-year-old Beagle who has a belly full of puppies.

Those are stories for another day. A few more things to clear up first: Cagney, who was shot in the leg, is healing nicely and should be back at F.H.S. for adoption any day. Sweet Maple, the emaciated Boxer, topped 45 pounds and is at a Boxer rescue where she is sure to be placed in an ideal home.

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Now let’s have some fun as I introduce you to Batman, who is the epitome of the cartoon cat Garfield.

Batman’s human mom needed permanent care so she could no longer tend to him, and oh how she did tend to him.

He was brought to the vet and eventually came to F.H.S. around the second week of March. Batman is a 10-year-old yellow/orange tabby who arrived at the vet weighing in at 35 pounds. To put that in perspective, Corona, now adopted, was a large black and white who weighed 17½ pounds, approximately half of Batman.

When the shelter received him he was down to a mere 32 pounds. After his initial evaluation, it was decided Batman would be housed in our office with his own special bed, food and water, dishes and toys.

He was simply too large for a cage, besides someone had to lift him in and out for cleaning. Batman has become the joy of our office as he waddles from one staff member to another seeking attention.

He’ll butt his head against you to let you know he’s there (like you could miss him) and then plop down and roll over, revealing his massive tummy. Jacque, Danny, Ashley and I were in tears laughing as we took photos of him for this story.

I wish I could show them all but you’ll have to come and see for yourself. Batman also possesses a purr befitting his size, if for some reason you didn’t see him, that locomotive sound you hear would be him.

Each week we checked his weight and it went as follows: 31.2, 30.4, 29.4, 28.6, 27.8, 28.1.

After the last weigh-in I went in to have a talk with the big fella.

“Hi Batman.”

“Hello Uncle Lennie, did you bring treats?”

“No, I didn’t and you have to stop begging, you gained weight last week.”

“I don’t see how with the food they give me around here.”

“This is not funny, Batman, it’s unhealthy for you to be so large. Cats are supposed to be slim and sleek.”

“Who says?” he answered.

“Don’t get smart with me and that rolling and purring won’t cut the mustard, you have to stick to your diet.”

“But I love food, Uncle Lennie, it’s my favorite thing.”

“You lose at least 10 more pounds and then we’ll talk, fair enough.”

I then rubbed his face and kissed his big beautiful head as the purring continued. As I was leaving he shot me one more barb, “Does this mean no more lasagna?”

Thanks for listening.