Letter from the tiny kingdom
Published 5:45 pm Monday, August 2, 2010
To the Editor:
Summer has arrived and we have the temperatures to prove it! The wise elders (wise guys) who sit at the kingdoms council table with hiz-honor-da-peoples-mayor, decided to drop the law suit that was intended to force a hundred or so people to become loyal minions of the Tiny Kingdom. This was after the smartest guys in the room spent about a quarter of a million dollars on this foolishness.
As you know we have always had a few silver tongue devils living here in The Tiny Kingdom, well my friend the deal Im about to tell you about should win city slicker of the year award. The wise elders agreed to lease our historic railroad depot to this city slicker for 20 years and only charge him $1 per year!&bsp; (Boy, he must have pictures!)
When the deal was announced, the city slicker said he was going to use his own money to restore the depot to its original 1906 appearance. Now, the town says it will apply for a $25,000 state grant and, in spite of the fact that its going broke, will contribute $5,000 in local funds for restoration of the depot. Plus the wise elders agreed to pay $1,000 from administrative services, I guess that means legal fees or trash pick-up, theyre both posted in the same column in the accounting ledger.
Now the city slicker is quick to point out that he is contributing $4,000 (about $20 per month over the 20 year lease period). Plus, because the city slicker is renting, he wont have to pay any taxes and one of the garden clubs will maintain the depots beautiful landscape. What a deal!
Now heres the kicker. If the depot is restored to its 1906 appearance (the exterior has been restored so I assume everybody is talking about the interior) the city slicker will be conducting business in a large room with wooden benches and a small Station Masters office with public access available only through a small barred window. (Give me two one-way tickets to Enronville please and one round trip to AIG Town.)
Just a reminder to the wise elders who are holding tight to the tiller of the good ship Tryon as they blunder their way toward the next sand bar, back in 1906 everything in public society in N.C. was duplicated! We all remember the bad ol days of segregation, so there will have to be a large waiting area for whites and a small waiting area for blacks, and two drinking fountains, etc. There may have been two ticket windows, like at the theater. And of course for historical accuracy everything will have to be labeled.
Well my friend I must go now. Im off to visit the wise elders, I have a bridge in NYC they might be interested in buying. Ill even put up $10 to help restore it!