Brain Drain

Published 2:10 pm Thursday, August 20, 2009

Just to illustrate how bad it&squo;s gotten, I trawled through past archives of my columns to make sure I haven&squo;t already written on this subject.I can&squo;t remember anything these days!My fella, Paul, says he recently read an article that proves I&squo;m not alone: seems most of us these days are so bombarded with information that the &squo;hard drive&squo; of our brain becomes full and the first casualty of this is often memory. What a relief to know that going to Bi-Lo three times in a row, once, to get milk, but coming home without it (although the Bluebell ice cream was much appreciated), secondly, to go back and buy the milk, but leave it in its grocery bag as I waltzed out with a couple more items bought on a whim, and thirdly, humiliated, to retrieve it only after realizing its absence half-way home.Taking this concern to the airwaves launched a contest on my radio show called, what else, &dquo;Pamnesia.&dquo; Contestants phone in and bewail their recent brain lapses with the funniest story winning a prize. Being radio, there&squo;s very little budget for this prize – it either consists of a coffee cup or a CD no one wants, so it&squo;s apparent to me that people are simply grateful for the opportunity to purge their embarrassment.&bsp;&dquo;I took my husband&squo;s truck to the grocery store,&dquo; claimed one women who, to this day, has probably the best tale ever told on the subject. &dquo;and I didn&squo;t realize it was still hooked up to our boat and trailer that we&squo;d taken to the lake the day before. I was at a stoplight, looked in the rear-view mirror and screamed, &dquo;There&squo;s a boat following me!&dquo;Another woman called to say that she had been speaking on her cordless home phone and then proceeded to get into her car and drive to work, not understanding why the reception became difficult and then completely lost altogether as she drove just a few feet down the road.Men, in full panic mode when their wives spring on them that they need their husband to take the children to school, have phoned to say by the time they got the kids dressed, fed and loaded into the car, looked down in horror to realize that they, themselves, were still in their pajamas.My purpose of listing these examples is to bring you peace of mind that just because you&squo;ve walked into the guest bedroom without a clue why, or wailed to your best friend that you can&squo;t find your cell phone as you are actually talking on it, or tried to open your home with your car key, you&squo;re not going crazy. But if you experience what one contestant told us last week, it might be time for a drive in the country and a nap:&dquo;I woke up because my cell phone was ringing and I couldn&squo;t find it.&dquo; she began, laughing. &dquo;I thought I heard it in the kitchen, but it wasn&squo;t there. Then I thought I heard it under my bed and got down on my hands and knees and I still couldn&squo;t find it. It was only when I stood up and it fell out from under my left boob that I finally figured it out.&dquo;&bsp; Well, I told her, that&squo;s a place for everything and everything in it&squo;s place….

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