The case of the missing container lid

Published 10:00 pm Thursday, April 7, 2016

All day the blanket snapped and swelled
on the line, roused by a hot spring wind….
From there it witnessed the first sparrow,
early flies lifting their sticky feet,
and a green haze on the south-sloping hills.
Clouds rose over the mountain …. At dusk
I took the blanket in, and we slept,
restless, under its fragrant weight.

~ Jane Kenyon, “Wash”

Would you solve a mystery for me, dear readers? I’m certain this problem might happen to others, but I wonder sometimes, more than I should if I’m alone in the world with this pressing matter. It’s akin to the dread Missing Sock Syndrome and unfailing Missing Reading Glasses Syndrome. Now I have the infamous Missing Lid Syndrome.

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Whatever it is — Tupperware, Rubbermaid, humble recycled Ingles fruit container — a container will lose the matching lid. In the kitchen there’s a zillion containers of varying sizes, and a pile of lids that should match but doesn’t. Nothing, absolutely nothing, matches—there’s no excuse for it.

Some lids fool you. They appear to be the right fit. Relieved beyond measure to find a prize lid that looks like the one, unsuspecting you affixes The Lid on top of the container, overflowing with dinner leftovers or food you want to store/gift/freeze, and The Lid almost, just almost fits. But doesn’t. Pushing, crimping, bending, squeezing will not make things any better.

Once again, you root through the piles of lids, hunting, hoping for the one that fits. It’s got to be there. Again, you spy The Lid that almost, just almost fits. But no. As you push, bend and finally pound that lid, you’re reduced to muttering not-so-nice-words under your breath as you hunt, fish, sift for The Right One again. (This is sort of sounding like online dating if you ask me!) Of course The Right One, The Perfect Fit Lid, does not exist. Not in your kitchen, at least.

Now, I want to know if this is an under-counter conspiracy to make us buy more containers that have matching tops that actually fit. Once they get shelved, they’ll magically disappear without a trace when our backs are turned (probably hanging out with those conniving socks and reading glasses). I just know it!

Saluda Welcome Table is every Tuesday. Dinner is served from 5:30 -7 p.m. in the fellowship hall of Saluda United Methodist Church. All are welcome; donations accepted.

Saluda Community Land Trust (SCLT) benefits from your donations or time as a volunteer for their many community projects. The annual meeting will feature naturalist Doug Elliot on April 13, 6 p.m. at Saluda Center.  “Walks in the Woods” return in April on first and third Sundays. Contact SCLT at 828-749-1560 or visit saludasclt.org.

Donations to help support Saluda Historic Depot can be sent to PO Box 990, Saluda, NC 28773 or on  HistoricSaluda.org. Saluda Train Tales are held on the third Friday each month April through October. Dean Campbell presents the next one on April 15 at 6:30 p.m. The depot is open Thursday through Sunday, noon-4 p.m. On April 9 at 6:30 p.m. there will be an opening in honor of beloved Saluda artist Bill Ryan, thanks to Jim Boyle who is lending Bill’s art for the exhibition. This is a benefit for the depot.

Jerry’s Baddle Green River Race is April 16.

Art News: I’ll have an opening reception for “Songs of the Earth” at Parsec Financial/Tryon Depot (formerly Millard & Company), 22 Depot Street on April 8 from 5-7 p.m. The exhibit runs until May 16 and will be open regular business hours. Also, Saluda Historic Depot will present Saluda Art Legends – Past & Present for a May exhibit (reception May 7, 6:30) at Saluda Depot. The Saluda Arts Festival is May 21.

Happy April Birthday to: Martha Ashley, Melody Gibson, Dave Prudhomme, Kaye Vazquez, Cindy Keeter, Betty Anna Brown, Hope Pace, Diane Pace, Ruth Anderson, Greaton Sellers, Clay Arrington, Bonnie Bardos, Luther Connor, Gary Pace, Dee Owen, Doug Honeycutt, Niece Lundgren, Julie Roy, Tommy Williamson, and Rhonda Corley. Please add your birthday to the list!

Thank you dear readers, for reading this column. I love hearing from you! Whether you live here, or just wish you were here, the goal is to make you feel like you’re enjoying a front porch visit and small town life in a friendly little mountain town called Saluda. You can contact me at bbardos@gmail.com or 749-1153, visit  bonniebardosart.com for more writing and art, or find me on Facebook.