Archived Story

‘I Love Me A Turkey Butt Samwich’

Published 11:33am Friday, June 8, 2012

I yam a middle aged woman who moved from a small career in Hollywood to a small town in the Carolinas. I’ve written about it for years in several different newspapers and have combined the best of those missives in this book named after one of the funnier columns. It’s catchy, for sure, and even memorable. And I knew it would be good for a laugh.
But what I look forward to the most is making Jack Roper say “Turkey Butt” live on-air.
And not the Jack Roper from “Three’s Company.”
Jack, if you don’t know him, is the long suffering, now retired, weatherman from our local television affiliate. He currently hosts a morning show on WSPA, along with the far- too-beautiful-for-that-early-in-the-morning, Kimberly Kelly. Between book signings, speaking engagements and a co-hosting stint on ‘Charlotte Today,’ I will be appearing on ‘Your Carolina,’ again, June 11.
I say, ‘again,’ as I was not successful on my last appearance, when Turkey Butt was released as an ebook, to get those words out of Jack’s mouth.
“I’m not gonna say it,” Jack shook his head.
“Oh, come on, Jack,” I wheedled. “what are you, five? Say it!”
“Nope.”
But Kimberly, bless her, shot her hand in the air as if in class and enthused, “I’ll say it! I’ll say it!” and proceeded to announce the title with gusto.
“I can’t believe you won’t say it,” I pressed him, further, when we went to a commercial break. “I’ve always supported your career, even when you irritated me.”
“When did I irritate you?” he asked, incredulous.
“When your butt blocked Landrum during the weather.” I shot back. “Do you know how irritating it is to see storms coming and wondering if you need to run out in the field and bring in horses right away but you can’t really see where they’re coming because your butt is blocking the view?!”
“And we’re back in 5, 4, 3…” called the floor director.
“Say it.”
“Nope.”
“….2, 1. Go!”
But just you wait, Jack Roper. I’ll be back. And you’re going to say it.
Or you’ll never eat Turkey Butt in this town again.

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