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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

My husband and I decided to ask you for some advice. Your column is the first thing we read when we open the paper and recently we’ve had an ‘issue,’ so we decided to ask Aunty Pam!

 

It seems one of our friends or family has been spreading gossip about us and we can’t figure out who it is. When my husband got a promotion, I was proud of him and did tell a couple of friends and family members. Well, it got back to us that I was “bragging” about my husband’s new job and he was earning (not true!) “$250,00 per year.” 

 

Then, when I need cataract surgery, it got back to us that I had gone in for an “eye lift” and other plastic surgery!

 

Just last week my husband was helping a friend move and I guess our “friend” saw boxes in his car, because it just got back to us that we were splitting up and my husband was moving out!

 

How do we deal with such malicious gossip? What kind of person would say such things? It’s gotten to the point that I’m scared to say anything when people ask ‘What’s new?’ out of fear it will get twisted into such terrible lies!

 

Can you help?

 

Signed,

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

 

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,

 

Goodness me, someone out there has really got it in for you and, let’s face it, this person is a pretty unhappy and dysfunctional piece of work. And thank goodness you’ve come to Aunty Pam for help because help I can. There is a very easy way to root out the Gossip Girl (or Guy). Here’s what you do:

 

Choose one person from your close circle of friends or family members whom you might suspect. Then tell that person something ludicrous: you had Mr. Smith just won $100,000 from a scratch-off lottery ticket. Or you’ve decided to get a pot-bellied pig, or that you’ve decided to work on a political campaign… Then wait to see if the story comes back to you. If not, move on to the next person. In short, when the gossip comes back to you then you will know exactly who the guilty party is. And from then on give them a wide berth and never reveal any personal details to them.

 

By the way, I think I might also question the motives of any of those who have seemed to find it necessary to actually bring it to your attention that you’ve been ‘bragging’ about your husband, or that he’s ‘leaving you.’ That’s no friend either.

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam