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My friend, Ruby, who is relatively new to the area, texted me in a pickle.

 

“I’m going to a baby shower and I’ve not seen any baby boutiques in the area,” she wrote.

 

“Google, baby” I shot back, while tacking up a horse in the barn.

 

“Google ‘baby?’” she replied. “Instead of baby boutiques?”

 

“No,” I typed back, patiently. “I meant baby as in you. Google ‘baby boutiques near me’ and put in your zip code.”

 

“I did.”

 

My horse, tired of being tethered in the cross ties, began to paw.

 

“And?”

 

“It came back with ‘Emma’s,’ ‘Honey Child’ and Tractor Supply.’”

 

That flummoxed her and made me laugh out loud and appreciate small-town living all the more. While Burberry and Bebe Organic have deliciously charming outfits if you don’t mind opening a vein to pay $200 for a silly little cap or $180 for booties, they don’t really translate to where we live, nor are they practical. Everybody knows a toddler will sling off any cap you place on their head in less than two seconds. That Burberry cap is going to be far less appealing as it blows across a grimy parking lot.

 

Personally, if I were having a kid, not only would it be worldwide breaking news, but I’d also leave skid marks to get to Tractor Supply for those pickings. To make sure, I googled baby. Fast. 

 

Ya’ll:

 

Pink infant overalls…Toddler Carhartt bibbed overalls—I can’t even—a John Deere ‘onesie’ for under ten bucks. And the matching cap, not a stupid $200, Burberry, but $10 on the nose. I’m tempted to sweep all of those into my basket and I’m not even shopping. Baby cowboy boots—squeee!!

 

I sent the links to Ruby but I’m not sure she’s convinced.

 

I’ll send her one from the hardware store, too.

 

I mean, what kid doesn’t want a hand cultivator hoe?