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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I’m in a pickle!! One of my oldest friends is getting married and has asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was shocked because we’re both in our 50s and I said, ‘You mean, maid of honor,’ and she said, ‘No, bridesmaid. I’m going to have three bridesmaids and you’re one of them!’

 

I realize that ‘Sheila’ has never been married before, but having a wedding with bridesmaids our age looks ridiculous. I know the other two gals and none of us are a size 6! What’s worse is that Sheila has chosen cocktail-length silky dresses with spaghetti straps. These would look good on an 18-year-old girl with a perfect figure, but the rest of us are going to look like 10 pounds of sausage stuffed in 5 pounds of casing.

 

Can you help me help Sheila see how ridiculous all of us will look? And don’t even get me started on her wedding dress—she’s going to look like a Baked Alaska!

 

Signed,

Wedding Jitters

 

Dear WJ,

 

Oh, come ON, woman! Seriously??

 

Look, it’s obvious that Sheila has been waiting for a big, fat wedding with all the trimmings her entire life. And I really get that you’re mortified to be wearing a dress that’s too young for you, as well as taking part in something that feels less than dignified at your age. But as you say, Sheila is one of your ‘oldest friends.’ How about considering that by taking part, you will be giving this dear friend what might be the very best day of her life? Treat it like it’s a lark—have some fun! We’ve all had our bridesmaid nightmare stories with dresses that we’re told “you can wear again!”– if you want to go as a giant after-dinner mint for Halloween–but when we tell those stories, we laugh. Or, at least, I do.

 

If Sheila asks your opinion on the dresses, you can tactfully share your thoughts that perhaps you’d rather wear something less clingy that covers your arms. But unless she does, try plastering on a smile for the sake of a long friendship and, along with your other bridesmaids, give her a day she won’t forget.

 

Don’t forget—you’ll get a great meal and free booze!

 

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam