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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I love your column and now it’s my turn to write for help!

 

I’ve been married to Fred for over 40 years and while he has always passed gas around the house (he thinks it’s funny), he now has no qualms about doing it in public! He doesn’t even try not to, and I am just mortified when he does this. Last week, he did it at the movies and it was so loud people two rows ahead of us turned around. A couple of days ago we were grocery shopping and ran into some friends. As we were chatting, Fred did it again. He doesn’t even acknowledge it, just keeps on talking like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I wanted to die and I know they could see me blush with embarrassment.

 

When we got back into the car I told Fred he has to stop it and he just laughed and said everybody does it, and at his age, he can’t help it. What should I do? I feel like I can’t take the man anywhere!

 

DD in Myrtle Beach

 

Dear DD,

 

Well, I suppose Fred could always get a job filling balloons at the local party store, but in the meantime, what’s the man eating? Maybe it’s time to change his kibble??

 

Seriously, in these sort of scenarios, DD, it’s really best to use humor to lighten the situation because, from Fred’s attitude, I don’t see him changing. This way, you can acknowledge your embarrassment and probably get a laugh from those within firing range. So the next time you’re standing in the dairy section of Ingles having a chat with your friends and Fred lets one rip, try taking a beat, look at your friends and say, “As you can see, Fred’s learning how to throw his voice.” I guarantee you the laughter that will follow will clear the air immediately!

 

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam