Toilet paper.

Published 7:37 pm Monday, November 23, 2009

Sometimes you have to turn to the comic strips for a discussion of the great issues of the day. In a recent strip called “Pearls Before Swine” in the Spartanburg paper, one of the characters raises this important question: ” Where do you stand on the great toilet paper debate? Should the loose end hang over or under the roll? When the wrong reply was given violent action followed.
This vital and controversial subject is of great interest to me because for all of our married life my wife and I have been on opposite sides of this issue.
Each of us maintains that our position is the more common and logical one. Fortunately, the subject never arose while we were dating. Also, we have been married so long that I cant remember how we resolved this matter when we only had one bathroom. I dont think we alternated rolls. Probably, I had enough common sense not to press the issue, and saved my credits for other matters.
I am happy to report that our domestic tranquility has been preserved with the advent of two bathroom residences. Perhaps the two bathroom solution could be applied to some of the domestic and international issues we face today. I dont want to face the possibility of a psychiatric evaluation at this point in life, so I will leave that suggestion to braver souls.
There is a potential for further conflict with anything that comes on a roll, but we have surmounted that problem as well. Our paper towel holder is vertical, and every objective person knows the scotch tape roll will only work successfully in one position.
I will leave you to wonder which position each of holds. All I want is recognition that my column deals with the big issues of the day, or should I say the big tissues of the day.~ On the Light Side written by Paul E. Nelson.

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