Brace for impact

Published 10:00pm Tuesday, August 19, 2014

To the editor:
I suppose we type words from habit without interrupting our stream of thought that
we are trying to get into print for others to read. Pam Stone recently exposed the
pitiful inadequacy of the spell-checking computers that have replaced the
typewriters and proofreaders of bygone days. The better the spellcheck, the worse
the result, as my computer readily accepts “fro” when I meant “from.” I therefore too
often slip stuff by my wife, my editors and myself (Santa Clause, because I saw that
movie!)
My high school French is pretty well fractured by now, but there has been a spate
lately of what I believe should be “hors d’oeuvres.” (Kiwanis ad, no less!) What we
high school boys called “horse ovaries” sort of helps me remember how to spell the
French, and in no way dulls my appetite for them.
Then there was our beloved fitness writer telling us of little “gyms” that turned out
to be tomatoes. I suspect he is more attuned to the gyms he visits than to jewelry
stores that offer their gems—but no tomatoes.
I can’t quit without mentioning “it’s” used for “its.” Against our feeble logic, the
apostrophe version is a contraction of “it is” and the other form is the possessive. Go
figure!
Should you publish this, dear editors, “Brace for impact.” We are gonna get
clobbered.
Garland O. Goodwin
Columbus

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