Oh lord, the Crawford woman kicked the bucket! Patricia M. Crawford entered her eternal everlasting life on Feb. 15, 2014 and would like to pass on some things she has learned, for you, or for those who follow:

1) As a child, don’t be afraid to ask for a pet donkey, you might just get one.
2) If you work for Alpo dog food, never say, “It must be the food!?” when the dog gets sick on live TV.
3)When you get a horse, teach it to sit, dance, roll over and if it’s being mistreated where it stays, steal it in the middle of the night and let it live in your house for a bit.
4) If you want a pool, get a pool, and every once and awhile shave your legs in it.
5) When taking your children trick or treating don’t allow them to return to the car until they have stolen enough tulips to decorate the house.
6) If working as an airline attendant, don’t set a pot of hot coffee on a bald mans head.
7) Always look for a good deal, then pay half of that.
8) Have two wonderful boys and love them unconditionally.
9) If you have seven cats, tell everyone you only have three.
10) One day, live on top of a mountain, it will be your heaven on earth.
To be continued…Patricia Margaret Crawford April 9, 1948 – February 15, 2014.
Memorial services will be held at 4 p.m. on Tuesday, April 29, 2014 in the McFarland Funeral Chapel.
An online guest register is available at www.mcfarlandfuneralchapel.com
– McFarland Funeral Chapel
Tryon, NC